The Ornament-Switcheroo Discussion

"But, I didn't want it to go the-e-eerrre..."
"But, this is where you nodded to."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"Not..."
"Day... yes, it is."
"No. I nodded to that other branch... up there..... not that one....."
"You meant that one?"
"Uh-huuuhh..."
"But, that one already has an ornament hanging from it."
"I know. I thought you would get the hint... that one doesn't go there; this one does."
"But, I was actually really impressed at your choice for this one to go here, it just fits perfectly!"
"Yeah... perfectly where no one will ever even seeeee it....."
"What do you mean 'no one will ever even see it'?? It's sparkly and directly faces the front doors! It'll be the very first ornament eevvveeryone will see the very instant they come inside!"
"Who are you tryin'ta kid, Mama? You know, as well as I do, that other branch is the definite attention-getter... prob'ly the whole reason you even put that weird-o golden octopus thing on it in the first place... y'know, before I even had a chance to choose it for my ornament......."
"You know, Day, I really don't think anyone who comes to visit will even notice any of the ornaments, or even that there's a Christmas tree at all... not when they have your handsome face, huggy body and wagging tail waiting at the door to greet them."
"Sucking-up is helping you naught, Mama... let's get going, you have an ornament-switcheroo to do."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Cool-New-Kicks Discussion

"Mama, these cool new kicks you got me are..... AWESOMMMEE!!!"
"I'm so glad you like them!"
"Like them?? I LOVE them!!!"
"That's fantastic, Day... I'm glad I found a set more to your style-preference! Now, how 'bout we get up and get moving... give those sweet, non-slippy kicks a chance to do their thing...."
"Nah... I think I'm just gonna keep admiring them right here where I already am."
"But, I was thinking we could go out to the workshop, y'know, get a little work done."
"You go on ahead, Mama, I'll be right here dreamily sleepin' in Cool-Kicks-Heaven!"
"But, Day, I..."
"Shhhhhh... It's okay, Mama... I'm doing this for yoouuu! Just think, the less I walk around in these schnazaayyyy-tootsie-covers-of-awesomeness, the fewer times you'll end up having to wash them!"
"I'd rather you actually put them to use... I'll gladly wash them every day if necessary."
"Ummm... I want to keep them nice and new; I'd be upset if the colour were to fade."
"I'll wash them in cold water, and add some salt to help colour-set them so they won't fade."
"Salt? You'll add SALT?? ... I don't want my socks salted!!! Now, if you'd said 'pepper'... that might've brought a different outcome..... I mean, who wouldn't appreciate a little more 'pep'-in-their-step??!"
"You're not coming out to the workshop with me, are you?"
"No."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Moving-Carpet Discussion

"Whoooaaaa..... Make it stop, Mama!"
"What are you talking about? Make what stop?"
"This carpet! I'm tryin'ta teach myself how to sit and it keeps moving..... it's makin' me wobble and I'm gonna fall down!"
"The carpet isn't moving, Day."
"No, but, it IS... look at it!"
"Okay, yes, the carpet has been moved and is now quite askew... however, you are the one who sent it flying out of place when you decided to run zoomies around the living room just a few minutes ago."
"But, that doesn't explain why it's..... stiiillll moviiinnggggggg........"
"Because there's nothing to explain; it's not moving."
"Then why am I wobbling? Huh?? Explain that!!"
"Could be because your body just simply isn't used to sitting. And anyway... why have you, all of a sudden, decided to try to teach yourself to sit in the first place?"
"Well, everybody else does it! Why shouldn't I??"
"Sooooo, if everybody else started eating nothing but pumpkin-bites... would you join in on that fad, too?"
"No.... you know I don't like pumpkin-bites. Buu-uuut... maybe if everybody started eating only cinnamon-sugar doughnuts, then sure... I think I'd definitely be down for that one! I love cinnamon-sugar doughnuts!! I love them as much as I love sticky buns! And, even as much as I love blueberry scones!!  And, and... and even as much as I love birthday cake... mmmmmmm... birthday cake with that delicious butter iciiinnnnggggg!!! ..... Yeah... the cinnamon-sugar doughnuts deal? It actually sounds like a SUPER fun idea.... can we really do that?"
"No."
"Almond Croissants??"
"No."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Bottoms-Up Discussion

"I really don't think a picture is absolutely necessary right now... also... I don't appreciate the raucous laughter....."

"Wait 'til you see the picture, you might be a little more appreciative then!"

"I doubt it."

"Trust me... it's a good one!"

"I'd trust you MORE if you were helping me!"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I dunno... maybe MOVE ME?? Maybe... maybe shift me over or around or... sommmethinggg so I can be comfortable instead of leaving me stuck like this??!"
"But, you don't like to be moved when you're laying down..."
"In this case I would think it pretty obvious that I'd make an exception."
"Sooooo... this is not just a new and improved position of comfy you've discovered then?"
"Do Iiiiiii... LOOOOK LIKE I'M COMFYYYYY?????"
"Actually, you look a little annoyed."
"You think?"
"Look, Day, I'm really sorry you misjudged your lay-down... but, all you really need to do is stand up and try again; it'll be way easier and way more comfortable for you than having me try to rearrange your situation."
"But... I'm just really tired....."
"I know, but you'll sleep much better once you actually get yourself turned around."
"I want you to do it, Mama."
"Okay, I'll help you... but first, let me just run and get some garland and take a few more good pictures; I'll need choices for our Christmas cards!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Tap-Shoes Discussion

"What are you? NUTS??? ..... I am NOT going out there looking like this!"
"Well, of course you're not... we still have to put your sweater on."
"Mama, come on..."
"What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?? Oh, I dunno... maybe just the fact that you're tryin' to make me go outside... in public... in these girlie kind'a tap-shoes!!!"
"Day, those were the 'manliest' style they had, I could understand your distress if I had bought you the leopard print ones."
"These aren't much better....."
"Well, you know that we're still waiting on your new corn-relieving shoes to be delivered so, in the meantime, I've padded these ones to help ease the pain in your tootsies."
"Maybe you should let meeee deal with my own tootsie pain for our walks... I guarantee you it sure won't look like this!"
"We actually did try that, Day. Don't you remember? You took care of it by stopping and demanding that I carry you."
"Walking along beside you, riding along in your arms... half a dozen of one, six of the other..... I mean really, Mama, what does it matter as long as we're out and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air together??"
"It matters because carrying you is not as easy a task as you seem to believe... Eighty-two pounds of fully relaxed, well-muscled Greyhound takes a toll on this mamas poor old body!"
"Don't be ridiculous, it's eeaaasy to carry this physique of beauty around... I do it all the tiiiiiime!"
"And thanks to those cute little toe-tappers, you're about to do it again! Now... let's get your sweater on and get moving."
"No, but..."
"It wasn't a request, Day... we're going."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Sleep Discussion

"Do I look like I'm ready to get up and greet the day??"
"Really? This is how we're going to start?"
"Whaaaaaat? I'm just tryin' to get a little sleep here..."
"Beacause the last eleven hours just wasn't enough?"
"No, but that was eleven hours on my chaise lounge; now I'm on my pillow... totally different situation!"
"Day, this is getting a little ridiculous..."
"How do you figure?"
"I don't 'figure', I know! Sleep is good, I get that... but, only to a point..."
"Mama, it's not really myyy fault if our sleeping points don't exactly match up. This body is capable of greatness... professional..... greatness. But... it requires vast amounts of rest in order to maintain."
"I love how you managed to throw in your professional-ness once again."
"Well look at me... it's not like I could hide it even if I tried!"
"Okay... well then, why don't we get up and get you into your snowsuit for a good, long walk so we can keep that 'professional greatness' on-track."
"Haha... I see what you did there, Mama... funny."
"Is that a yes?"
"More of a 'the-sign-on-my-bed-will-lead-you-to-your-answer'... I'm going back to sleep now."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Un-Fun Idea Discussion

"Did you seriously just stick your tongue out at me??"
"No, not aaatttt you... more like, at your un-fun idea."
"It wasn't an 'idea', Day, it was a 'this is what we're doing'....."
"But I don't wanta go inside."
"You've had a huge run, a wild playtime, done some whacky dance moves and now it's time to go inside for your nap."
"Well, I already know it's nap-time... why do you think I laid down like this??!"
"And you can lay down like that again..... inside."
"I think I'll just stay here."
"I think you won't."
"I think I will."
"Day, I am not about to let you get sunburned and bug-bitten by letting you nap for hours in the grass; you have no insulative protection against the elements and insects that would gladly do you harm."
"Listen to yourself, Mama... Why would anyone do me any harm?? Everybody loves me... I'm adored everywhere I go!  Look at me, I'm so sweet and funny and we aalll know I'm beyond handsome... I'm just a really lovable kinda guy!"
"Still, we're not going to give them the opportunity to try. Let's go."
"No, thank you."
"It wasn't an invitation. Get moving, Mister!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."