The Backhoe Loader Discussion

"Mama! ... MAAMAAAAA!!"
"What is it? What's wrong???"
"Mama... what iiiiiis that??"
"Where? Oh... do you mean that machine outside?"
"A 'machiiinne'... it's soooo cooooool....."
"It is a machine, Day, but it's actually called a Backhoe Loader. You're right though, it is pretty cool."
"Whoooaah... Backhoe Loaderrr..... SO cool! But... why is there a man stuck inside of it?"
"Oh, he's not 'stuck' in there, Day, he's working in there, he's directing the backhoe with its controls to get the work done."
"He's so lucky! I really wanta do that, Mama, I wanta be a Backhoe Loader DI-RECTORRR!!!"
"I thought you were loving the retired-life, why would you possibly want to go back to work now, at this comfy and sleepy stage in your life?"
"You don't think I can do it."
"It's not that..."
"Just because I don't have thumbs??"
"More like because you don't have a license."
"So, you DON'T think I can do it!"
"Of course I think you can do it, Day; I know you can do anything that you put your mind to."
"Way to patronize your only son... Y'know, you should really think about writing a parenting book....."
"Maybe I will... and maybe I'll entitle the first chapter 'GROUNDED... due to Backhoe Loaded SASS!'......."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Bum-Lifter Discussion

"But, I want my bum-lifter..."
"I know. But, I also know that you're completely capable of being your own bum-lifter."
"But, I like it when you're my bum-lifter, Mama....."
"You're a big boy, Day, you can do it... just lift your inside leg onto the edge of the couch and then shift your hips up and back... easy-peasy, Dude!"
"No, thank you."
"What do you mean 'no, thank you'? It wasn't an invitation, it was an explanation of what needs to be done... by you... to achieve your desired result."
"It's okay; I'll just wait until you're ready."
"Actually, I wasn't planning on getting ready."
"Sure you were... you were getting ready to come over here and sit down beside me, lift my bum, cover me up with my blankie and then you were going to sit and cuddle me while I have my nap. Don't you remember? That's what we do."
"So, you're basically saying that I'm here merely for your ease of comfort?"
"No, not just for my comfort... for my company, too!"
"Nice."
"I know I'm nice, aannndddd helpful..... 'cause I'm helping you so you feel needed!"
"Oh, I feel needed, all right..."
"That's great! ... Now c'mon and let's make this happen!!"
"Fine... *sigh* ... just let me finish getting my tea ready."
"Okay... but, first I'll be needing my BUM-LIFTER!!!"
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Back-to-Bed Discussion

"Gooooooood MORNING, Smunchkinnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!"
"I want to go back to bed."
"But, it's morning!"
"I don't like morning."
"But, we just got up!"
"No, yoouuu... just got up!"
"Well, I'd actually say we both got up because we're both out here in the living room and I don't remember carrying you in here..."
"Real funny, Mama."
"I didn't mean it to be funny, Day... it's just the truth."
"Well, I only came out here because you came out here even though you knowww that I like to have company when I'm still sleeeeeping. I don't think that was very nice of you to leave me there in the bedroom all by myself....."
"It's already seven-thirty in the morning; any longer in bed and half the day would already be wasted, Dude!"
"You say wasted... I say enjoyyyyyyed....."
"Oh c'mon, Day, the sun is shining... the day is fresh and ready to be appreciated!"
"I say we take a vote and the vote is already proving set at two against one!"
"Two against one? How do you figure that??"
"Poor Horsey CLEARLY looks about as ready for this annoying sunshine as I am... I mean, just looooook at him, Mama... poor guy looks stunned..... and painfully so!"
"I think he just must be flabbergasted at your grumpy-morning attitude."
"I think he wants to go back to bed."
"Well, I guess that's a bummer for him then, 'cause my coffee is made, my crackers are cream-cheesed, my book is open and my morning has begun... all with a big ol' smile, as every morning deserves to be greeted!"
"Cream-cheesed crackers, you say??"
"Going back to bed, you said??"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The All-For-One Discussion

"Dude, did you hear that?"
"Yeah, I heard, Day; looks like it's not gonna be the lucky day you had in store, after all..."
"SSHHHHH... Snowmaaaann..... whisperrrrrrrrr!!!"
"Sorry, Day, I didn't know it was a secret..."
"Well, of course it's a secret! You heard what I heard and you should know by now that it means we're in hiding... QUICK... close your eyes..... It's all-for-one, we're sleepin' and nothin' can wake us!!"
"But, Day..."
"No 'buts'... just do it! Close your eyes, close your eyes NOW!"
"Day, I can't!"
"Yes, you can!"
"Day! I don't have EYYYELIDDDDSS, DUUUUDE!!!!!"
"Oh....."
"Quick, Day... your mama's comin' in here..... what'do I do? What'do I dooooo??"
"Uuummmmm... start snoring!!"
"What??? I don't snore!"
"You do now! I am NOT getting dressed in a MILLION clothes  and going outside into the white-cold FREEZINGNESS for that embarrassing torture Mama calls a 'walk'! Now, start snorin' and make sure it's LOUUDDD... don't you dare blow this for me, Snowman!!!"
"FIIIIIINE! But I think you're RIDICULOUS and TOTALLY OVERREACTING about your mama wanting to take you out for a nice little walk of togetherness!"
"If you think it sounds so nice, maybe you should go on the walk!"
"Maybe you should be not-so-bossy to me..."
"I'm not bossy... I'm desperate!"
"Okay, okaayyy... here goes..... *yawwnnn-whistle-z-z-z-z-zzzz*"
"Really??... Could you at least trryyy to make it seem natural? We're going for buy-worthy here, not over-the-top, Snowman!"
"I'm telling you, Day... one more snarky review and I am so selling you out!!"
"Do it right and I won't have to give you snarky reviews!"
"Don't say I didn't warn you..... Oh, hi there, Day's Mama! Day and I were juuuuust laying here talking about you... he is SO excited that you want to take him outside for a walk and he is just itchin' to get into his snowsuit layers and get outside for some fresh air!!!"
"WHAT? Wait! No... I didn't... *sigghhh*... snowmen are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Wooly-Mess Discussion

"Daaayyyy... what the heck happened in here?? I left the room for THIRTY SECONDS!!!"
"Whaaaaat??! You LEFT! I got lonely... I needed company!!"
"And the knitting project I'm working on took my place??"
"Well, um... it was warm and soft and squishy like your cuddles, soooooo..... yeah, I guess it kinda did."
"Take a look at the mess here, Day... it hardly looks like you were merely 'cuddling' with the wool."
"Well, but it started that way..."
"Do pray tell."
"Welllll..... I looked up and you were gone and there I was..... aalll alo-onnnnne. And then I looked up on the couch and saw that you'd also left that poor yet delightful wool-squishiness all alone, too; that's when I knew that we were both in the loneliness together and I thought I should fix it for us both."
"By destroying it."
"Not destroying... plaaayy-innggg....."
"That wool is for making a blanket with, Day, not for playing with!"
"YOU got to play with it..."
"I wasn't playing with the wool, I was knitting with it..."
"Do we really need to stand here and argue semantics, Mama? Seriously... haven't we already wasted enough of our precious cuddle time on this trivial issue?!"
"Trivial issue?? It'll take me hours to untangle and roll this wooly-mess into a new, useable ball for knitting with!"
"Reelaaaxxx, Mama... I'll help you... I mean, hey, if I could make this much beautiful art on only my very first try, just imagine what I'll be able to do with a little more practice!"
"The only practice you'll be getting, Day, is in cleaning up!"
"That's not fun..."
"But that's what's happening... start cleaning, Mister!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Holdin'-Paws Discussion

"I'm just going to lay here and hold paws with you until you feel aaaall better, Mama."
"Ohhh... that's so sweet of you, Day!"
"I know."
"I just have one teeeeeenie little request though..."
"Which is??"
"Well, do you see how your toe is pushing my toe waaayy over?"
"Yup."
"It's kind of uncomfortable..."
"No, it's not."
"It really kinda is."
"No, see... it neeeeeeds to be like that..... we're holdin' paws and it's makin' you better! I mean, how else are you going to get all healed up if our paws aren't locked tight enough for me to give you all of my awesome healingness??"
"Well-wishes would probably work just as well."
"Too late, Mama, we're already settled and locked-in for the long haul!"
"And I wouldn't want it any other way, Day... holding paws with you just fills up my whole heart."
"I know."
"And, you really are the sweetest, most caring and full-of-love boy a mama could hope for."
"I know... but, I think you also meant to say 'incredibly and BEYOND handsome'..."
"Greyhounds are so unbelieveably modest... *eyeroll, headshake*....."

The Tasty-Spoon Discussion

"I just checked on you... you were sound, sound asleep."
"Well, um... I waaaas sleeping... but..... then I thought I heard a spoon tap-tap-tapping against the side of a container???"
"You did?"
"I thought I did."
"Could be because I just tapped the excess sour cream off of this spoon for the dip I'm making..."
"SOUR CREEAAM?? But... I love sour cream....."
"I know you do."
"Wait a minute! Were you even going to tell me there was a sour cream spoon to be had?"
"Of course I was going to tell you there was a sour cream spoon to be had."
"Sounds a little fishy, Mama... you just said you checked that I was sleeping and it had to be before you were holding the sour cream spoon or I would've smelled the deliciousness when you came to look in on me. I think you were checking to make sure I was asleep. I think you maybe thought that I was so asleep that I wouldn't know there even was a missed spoon..."
"Day... do I not always offer you the spoon??"
"Usu'lly. Guess I really don't know, for sure, though... you could have pulled this stunt before when maybe I really did sleep through a tasty-spoon opportunity..."
"I promise you, I have NEVER cheated you of a tasty-spoon!"
"So you saayyy....."
"Day! Do you want the sour cream spoon, or not?"
"Well, of course I want the sour cream spoon! I want EVERY sour cream spoon!! Even SOUR CREAM would want the sour cream spoon!!!"
"Here... it's aaaalll yours. Enjoy!"
"I'd enjoy it more with an extra dunk... y'know... to make up for the uncalled-for betrayal of trust....."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... dunk, dunk....."