The Duo-Selfies Discussion

"Hey, Mama... we need to talk."

"Is something wrong."

"It's these selfies... they're getting out of control....."

"What? What do you mean??"

"We... well, we don't need one every day..... ONE... every now and then... okaayyy, I can deal with that... buuuuut, it's gone a little beyond now."

"Too much?"

"Seriously, too much. We need to just cooooool things off a lil' bit."

"But, I..."

"It's aaaalll right, Mama... I still love you... You still love me..... We still love each other. It's just... we gotta slow down on the selfies... people are starting to talk..."

"But, I just really love our pictures together..."

"Shhhhhhh..... don't talk, just trust me... it's aaallll for the best..."

"No, but..."

"Are we good here?"

"You mean, except for the fact that my heart is suddenly hurting??..."

"No heart-hurting necessary. We still got the love, Mama... still got the looooove!"

"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Dragon Discussion

"But, Dragon keeps looking at me..."

"Just ignore him."

"I can't ignore him... he's looking right at me! He won't stop and I don't like it."

"Maybe he just wants to play with you."

"Well, IIIiiiiii don't want to play with him! Don't you even remember, Mama?? Last time we 'played'..... he burned me."

"I'm sure he didn't burn you on purpose, Day. Dragon is young and learning, just like you are. Sometimes even you play a little too rough and hurt others without meaning to because you suddenly become too overwhelmed and out-of-control with excitement."

"Well, I might be young, too... but, I still know it's not nice to burn friends..... even on accident!"

"You know what else isn't nice?

"What?"

"Holding grudges."

"I'm not holding a grudge! I'm just still full of resentment!!"

"I think my point has just been made."

"What??? Nevermind... Can you just, y'know, put him somewhere else, Mama? Like, somewhere far awaayyy from me......"

"No, I'm not going to move Dragon, Day. I think you boys should work this one out on your own. Friendships aren't always easy but you may just find that the best ones are definitely worth the work of overcoming upsets."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Ice Cream Discussion

"But, that's the ice cream bucket."
"Sure is."
"But, you didn't tellll me that the ice cream bucket was coming out."
"Sure didn't."
"And you just went ahead and took it out of the freezer? And you opened it?? Without even letting me help???"
"Sure did."
"But, WHHYYY would you even do that?!! You KNOW how much I love ice cream!"
"Because when I do, I end up tripping and falling... a lot.
"And it's myyyy fault that yoouuu can't handle the short walk from the big freezer to the kitchen counter without landing flat-out on the floor???"
"It is, actually."
"How do you figure that??!"
"No figuring, Day, just a simple knowingness based upon past experience. Please don't look so hurt... I wasn't trying to hide ice cream time from you, I was only trying to save myself from having to failingly maneuver my way through the guantlet-like hazards of an overly-excited, gleefully-prancing hungrily-salivating and delightfully-crying Greyhound tightly circling my legs until I fall."
"Mama, listen to yourself... 'excited, gleefully, salivating, delightfully'... ALL good things!! So, even you have to see that your argument is totally and completely just... well..... UNREASONABLE!!!"
"Here's an idea... How 'bout we just enjooyyy some ice cream together instead of worrying about hoowww the icre cream actually made it from the freezer to the counter?"
"So, I'm getting ice cream."
"Of course you're getting ice cream."
"And next time I can help with getting the ice cream out of the freezer?"
"Probably not."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Towel Pile Discussion

"Really?"
"Yup."
"Did you happen to notice before you jumped up, even in the slightest, what was happening here?"
"Umm... you're gonna have to be a little more specific, Mama... I'm too tired to try and read minds today."
"Two things: folding towels and making the bed."
"Actually, if we're counting... it's three things and you 'conveniently' left out the third and most important of all."
"Which is?"
"ME... tryin' to get a lil' shut-eye here!!"
"Day, you have so many spots you could be comfortably napping in right now. I mean, seriously... you really haaaad to choose the clean pile of towels that I'm right in the middle of folding??"
"Whaaat??? I'm helpiiinng....."
"How is this helping?"
"I'm keeping them warm for you, you know, so they don't wrinkle."
"More like setting wrinkles in..."
"What are you saying? Was that a quip on my physique??"
"No quip... you have an amazingly beautiful physique, Day."
"I know!"
"But could you please move that beautiful physique off of the clean towels so I can finish!??"
"I cooouuuuld......."
*sigh* "Will you?"
"Let me just think... ummm, no."
"Let ME just rephrase that... OFF the towels, Mister!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Squirmy-Wormy Discussion

"I'm seriously NOT kidding you, Mama... this grass just MOVED!"
"It's pretty windy out here, Day, all of the grass is moving."
"No... I'm telling you, this wasn't 'wind movement'... something's in there and it's totally freakin' me out!"
"Where?"
"There, right there! Something moved. Something big... I felt it touch my paw!"
"Well, it can't be anything too awfully big or it wouldn't be able to hide in the grass."
"Well, it was sure big in overall grossness!"
"Okay, let's have a look; it's probably just a bug or a worm..."
"JUUUUUST a bug or a worm???!! A bug or a worm is so NOT cool... this is myyy grass and I want it to be soft and green and CLEAN for me to play in. I don't want to have to be worried about bugs and worms touchin' me... that's gross! You don't really think it would be a worm, do you, Mama?"
"No, probably not a worm, Day."
"But, now you're prob'ly just sayin' that to make me feel better... I just really don't like worms. Worms are all, like, gooey and sticky and squirmy and just really, really sickening. Did you find it yet? Is it a worm? Is it a bug?? Is it one of those tickles things you told me to watch out for???"
"Nope, not a worm or a bug, not even a tick... just a tiny piece of dandelion stem. See, nothing to be worried about, at all."
"Whew! That stem is sure lucky it wasn't a worm!"
"Yeah... you sure would've shown that evil worm a thing or two, huh?"
"Really, Mama? ..... Worm-mockin' me now??"
"And probably evermore."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Eye Drop Discussion

"But, I didn't want to have an eye drop time today..."
"I know... but you need your eye drops."
"But, IIIiiiii don't think I need them... my eyes aren't dry or red or itchy; not even one little bit!"
"We go through this every time, Day, and you know these drops are for your Diabetes Insipidus and not, at all, for any symptoms involving your actual eyes."
"EXACTLY!!! So, WHYYY put the drops in my EYYYES??!!! You KNOW that I don't even like having drops, at all... well..... unless they're going to be gumdrops. I like gumdrops! Can we just have gumdrops instead today? And then maybe we could go outside for a play and then we could come back in and check the bag again, just to see if we maybe missed any and if there still might be just one more hiding that I could have and be just so happy... so GUUUUUMDROP HAP-PEHHH!!!!!"
"Day, you do realize that eye drop time would already be long behind us if we had just gotten it over with right away."
"Eye drop time??! But, I thought we just decided we were having gumdrop time instead..."
"No, you decided... I know that we still need to get these drops in."
"I like gumdrops...."
"I know you like gumdrops but, enough with the gumdrop distractions... it's time. Now, look waayyyy up at the ceiling, just a quick drip-drop and..."
"No, but wait! ... Um, if you're really not up for the gumdrop plan, I'd be willing to give a few lemondrops a try....."
"Done!"
"What??!"
"All done. You are good to go, Dude. I snuck the medicine in fast while you were all dreamy-eyed over your gumdrop/lemondrop plans."
"You SSSNNUCK it in???!!"
"Yep."
"Without my permission???"
"Sorry... had to be done."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Slumberjack Discussion

"But, I said I wanted to wear the greeeeen jammas, not the red jammas..."
"I know... but the green ones are in the washing machine and you need some extra warmth right now; these ones were clean and ready to take on the task.
"But, the blue ones are clean, too. Why did you just give me red when maybe I might have wanted the blue if the green ones are dirty... like you saayyy (eye roll)."
"Did you really just roll your eyes at me??"
"Um..... nnnnn-nooooo........"
"Good, 'cause I didn't think you would do something like that... you're just too sweet for those kind of antics."
"But, I would have been even sweeter in my green jammas... just so you know."
"Day, it's the same fleecy softness, the same comfy fit, the same cozy warmth. Can you just deal with the red, at least until the green ones are dry? Please??"
"Mama, I know they're soft and comfy and cozy... that much, I actually like. But in these red ones, my friends keep askin' me where I keep my axe. They make fun of me and they call me Sluuumberrrring Jack....."
"Hmmm. I can understand how that could be tough but for you, but... being called a slumberjack might actually be a compliment to take pride in."
"How do you figure that?"
"Well, your Grampa Bob was a professional lumberjack and he'd be honoured to see you in red plaid. And the slumbering part... you spent four and a half years working harder than any of your friends can even imagine and you have earned and deserve your slumbery days of retirement."
"Fiiinnnnnne... I'll just wear these red ones, then......"
"Awesome... now how 'bout a big ol' smile to go with them??"
"No."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."