The Duvet-Fluffing Discussion

"What are you doooinngggg?!??"
"Whaaaaat???"
"I already had the sheets and duvet nicely fluffed and straightened... you knew I was just about to finish making the bed when the telephone rang!"
"But, you didn't make it fluffy enouuughh... I like it THIS FLUFFaaayyyy!"
"Well, I thank you for properly fluffing the duvet but, would you mind hopping on down so I can finish getting the bed made for the day?"
"What are you talking about?? It's already been made perfect... FOR... the DAY... BY ...the DAY! ..... See what I did there, Mama?" *wink-wink*
"I see what you did there... hilariously punny, Day, but you know what I meant."
"Relaaax, Mama, I'm just gonna lay here for a bit and take advantage of these sweet morning rays while I nap, then, when I get up, you can swoop in and work your bed-making magic before I get back up again for my afternoon nap."
"I'd really rather just get it over with now..."
"I know. And I'd like to be able to help you out... but..... I already worked really hard to bring my blankie up and we're kind of already settled in and comfortable now."
"Why don't you take your blankie over to your chaise instead? You'll probably have an even better nap without the sun so bright in your eyes."
"Good, so we're decided then... right now is MY time! Don't worry, Mama, I'll come and let you know when it's your turn, 'cause that's just how good I am at shaaaarinnggg..."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The In-Disguise (sing-song) Discussion

"Okay, Day... final-layer time; let's get your outer jacket on and hit the trail!"

.....Day's not he-eerrre.....

"Come on, Day, we'll both enjoy getting out in the fresh morning air."

.....I'll just sit sti-iiiiill.....she'll neeeeeever fiiiiiiinnd meeeee.....
"Seriously Day, it's walk-time!"
.....I'm in disguiii-iiiiiise ...as a liiiittle fiiiiiishiieee...just swimmin' in the cabinet...with my wooden fishie frie-eeeends.....

"Day! We're going for a walk and it's going to be fun! Now, come on before you start getting too warm playing the ignore card."

.....if I'm too wa-aaaarm...then I won't need the final laaaaayerrr.....

"I'm not kidding, Day... we're going outside."

.....not if you can't seeeeeee meeeeeeeeeee...because I'm in disguiii-iiiiiise...as my red plaid pillll-ow.....

"You're seriously making me crazy! I can TOTALLY see you, Day!!"

.....not if I'm not looooooookinggg.....

"Okay, here's the deal, Mister: no walk... no 'YAAAYYYY, we went for a walk' treats....."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Backhoe Loader Discussion

"Mama! ... MAAMAAAAA!!"
"What is it? What's wrong???"
"Mama... what iiiiiis that??"
"Where? Oh... do you mean that machine outside?"
"A 'machiiinne'... it's soooo cooooool....."
"It is a machine, Day, but it's actually called a Backhoe Loader. You're right though, it is pretty cool."
"Whoooaah... Backhoe Loaderrr..... SO cool! But... why is there a man stuck inside of it?"
"Oh, he's not 'stuck' in there, Day, he's working in there, he's directing the backhoe with its controls to get the work done."
"He's so lucky! I really wanta do that, Mama, I wanta be a Backhoe Loader DI-RECTORRR!!!"
"I thought you were loving the retired-life, why would you possibly want to go back to work now, at this comfy and sleepy stage in your life?"
"You don't think I can do it."
"It's not that..."
"Just because I don't have thumbs??"
"More like because you don't have a license."
"So, you DON'T think I can do it!"
"Of course I think you can do it, Day; I know you can do anything that you put your mind to."
"Way to patronize your only son... Y'know, you should really think about writing a parenting book....."
"Maybe I will... and maybe I'll entitle the first chapter 'GROUNDED... due to Backhoe Loaded SASS!'......."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Bum-Lifter Discussion

"But, I want my bum-lifter..."
"I know. But, I also know that you're completely capable of being your own bum-lifter."
"But, I like it when you're my bum-lifter, Mama....."
"You're a big boy, Day, you can do it... just lift your inside leg onto the edge of the couch and then shift your hips up and back... easy-peasy, Dude!"
"No, thank you."
"What do you mean 'no, thank you'? It wasn't an invitation, it was an explanation of what needs to be done... by you... to achieve your desired result."
"It's okay; I'll just wait until you're ready."
"Actually, I wasn't planning on getting ready."
"Sure you were... you were getting ready to come over here and sit down beside me, lift my bum, cover me up with my blankie and then you were going to sit and cuddle me while I have my nap. Don't you remember? That's what we do."
"So, you're basically saying that I'm here merely for your ease of comfort?"
"No, not just for my comfort... for my company, too!"
"Nice."
"I know I'm nice, aannndddd helpful..... 'cause I'm helping you so you feel needed!"
"Oh, I feel needed, all right..."
"That's great! ... Now c'mon and let's make this happen!!"
"Fine... *sigh* ... just let me finish getting my tea ready."
"Okay... but, first I'll be needing my BUM-LIFTER!!!"
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Back-to-Bed Discussion

"Gooooooood MORNING, Smunchkinnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!"
"I want to go back to bed."
"But, it's morning!"
"I don't like morning."
"But, we just got up!"
"No, yoouuu... just got up!"
"Well, I'd actually say we both got up because we're both out here in the living room and I don't remember carrying you in here..."
"Real funny, Mama."
"I didn't mean it to be funny, Day... it's just the truth."
"Well, I only came out here because you came out here even though you knowww that I like to have company when I'm still sleeeeeping. I don't think that was very nice of you to leave me there in the bedroom all by myself....."
"It's already seven-thirty in the morning; any longer in bed and half the day would already be wasted, Dude!"
"You say wasted... I say enjoyyyyyyed....."
"Oh c'mon, Day, the sun is shining... the day is fresh and ready to be appreciated!"
"I say we take a vote and the vote is already proving set at two against one!"
"Two against one? How do you figure that??"
"Poor Horsey CLEARLY looks about as ready for this annoying sunshine as I am... I mean, just looooook at him, Mama... poor guy looks stunned..... and painfully so!"
"I think he just must be flabbergasted at your grumpy-morning attitude."
"I think he wants to go back to bed."
"Well, I guess that's a bummer for him then, 'cause my coffee is made, my crackers are cream-cheesed, my book is open and my morning has begun... all with a big ol' smile, as every morning deserves to be greeted!"
"Cream-cheesed crackers, you say??"
"Going back to bed, you said??"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."