The Bum-Lifter Discussion

"But, I want my bum-lifter..."
"I know. But, I also know that you're completely capable of being your own bum-lifter."
"But, I like it when you're my bum-lifter, Mama....."
"You're a big boy, Day, you can do it... just lift your inside leg onto the edge of the couch and then shift your hips up and back... easy-peasy, Dude!"
"No, thank you."
"What do you mean 'no, thank you'? It wasn't an invitation, it was an explanation of what needs to be done... by you... to achieve your desired result."
"It's okay; I'll just wait until you're ready."
"Actually, I wasn't planning on getting ready."
"Sure you were... you were getting ready to come over here and sit down beside me, lift my bum, cover me up with my blankie and then you were going to sit and cuddle me while I have my nap. Don't you remember? That's what we do."
"So, you're basically saying that I'm here merely for your ease of comfort?"
"No, not just for my comfort... for my company, too!"
"Nice."
"I know I'm nice, aannndddd helpful..... 'cause I'm helping you so you feel needed!"
"Oh, I feel needed, all right..."
"That's great! ... Now c'mon and let's make this happen!!"
"Fine... *sigh* ... just let me finish getting my tea ready."
"Okay... but, first I'll be needing my BUM-LIFTER!!!"
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."