A joke a DAY.....

"Hey, Derby... did you hear about the Greyhound who ran for two whole hours but only moved four feet?"
"Really?? I thought all of you Greyhounds were fast... "
"Yeah... but he only had four feet!"
"Hahahahaaaah... You're funny, Day!"
"I know! It's a gift..."

The Nail Grinding Discussion

"But, I didn't say I was ready to have my nails done..."

"I know. But, you need to have your nails done."

"But, I just HAD them done!"

"That was a whole week ago, Day."

"But, I don't think it really neeeeeds to be every SINGLE week that we do this."

"Trust me, Day, weekly is the way to go with this one."

"Well... I'm not going to be helpful."

"Don't worry, I'll do all the work... you just go back to your nap-time."

"See?? You just said it... it's my NAP-time... not my NAIL-time."

"I know, but, it's easiest and quickest when you're relaxing like this."

"But, maybe I don't want to be relaxing. And maybe I wanted to do other things today instead of nails. Like, maybe I wanted to play frisbeeee. And maybe I wanted to go for a rii-iiide. And maybe I wanted to be inventorying the treat staaaasshhh..."

"I think you've confused the word inventorying with the word devouring, Day."

"Whichever... I just mean that I have WAY more important things to be doing!"

"And you'll still have enough time to do those things and more... but even better, you'll get to do them with well-managed, healthy nails that won't get snagged or torn while you're playing!"

"But... I really just want to be licking the window."

"First of all... that's gross. But, I'm sure you will be... just as soon as we're done."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The BedMaking Discussion

"But, I just maaade the bed!"
"Whaaaat??? I thought you were making the bed FOR me..."
"But I wasn't, actually... I was making it so it would look nice for the day and then it would feel nice and unwrinkled when IIiiiii climb into it at bedtime."
"Whoa... guess we TOTALLY had a miscommunication on this one! See, IIiiiii figured that since you know how I love my naps up here you were just making it all nice for me so I could have a comfy day..."
"But I wasn't..."
"Well, you could just REEE-make it later on after I'm finished... you know I prefer the chaise for my nighttime sleeps anyhow."
"But, I'd really love to finish getting the bed ready right now, Day. I mean, seriously, you have the chaise, four different doggie daybeds, couches and love-seats, galore, to choose from for naps..."
"And maybe I'll give all of those spots a try... later."
"Maybe you should try them now, before you run out of time."
"Oh, don't you worry about me! I've got time. These summer days are long, Mama..... these summer days are long!"
"Not that long... I think you should run and try out those other spots!"
"And I will... later on."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Dear Deer Friend Discussion

"Hey, Day! Can you come outside to play???"

"Hang on... I just have to ask my mom!!"

"My mom said I'm not allowed..."

"What? But, why not??"

"She said I have to get ready for bed and that it's starting to get dark outside, so I'm not allowed."

"Bummer, Dude..."

"I know... it's not faaiiir, she never lets me have any fun."

"Tell her my mom's out here, too, maybe if she knows we have supervision she'll say yes."
"Nah, she'll still say no 'cause the streetlights already just turned on. It's no use."
"Well, now I sure wish we could've got here sooner but we found some really great tree buds on our way and got distracted with the time."
"That's okay... Maybe if you can come earlier tomorrow we'll be able to play. Remember that other day, when we were running all around and then we both fell in the same spot and then we just rolled and laughed and our moms thought we were crying because we got hurt but really we were just laughing so hard we couldn't talk..."
"Yeah... that was really funny!"
"I know... it was SUPER funny!"
"My mom says we have to go now... sorry you couldn't come out to play, Day."
"Me too. Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The MessMaking Discussion

"But, IIIiiiiii didn't think I was making a MESS."

"Really?? Look around this room. The bedcovers have been wrestled and pulled every which way, the toy basket has been dumped across the floor and I tripped and fell over the blanket you dragged halfway through the doorway."

"But, didn't you look where you were walking?"

"Not the point, Day."

"But, I just was playyiiingg... and, and, and sometimes, I just can't stop myself.... 'cause it's just SO much FUN!!!"

"In any case, it's time to clean up and then it's time for a nap!"
"What?!! I don't need a nap! I'm just getting my 'play' on... there is still lots of fun to be had!! I'm gonna run circles around ALL the furniture, I'm gonna chat up that good-lookin' Greyhound who always gets himself stuck behind the stereo cabinet glass and then I'm gonna dance, dance, DANCE!!! ... 'Cause you know I just really love to dance....."
"Day, the only dance you're going to be doing right now is called The Nap-Time Jig... let's go."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The JammaTime Discussion

"But, I didn't saayyy I wanted to have jamma-time yet..."

"I know, but it's late and already past your bedtime."

"But, it's not even dark yet! I can still play outside for a little while mo-orrre..."

"We'll play outside again tomorrow. The mosquitoes are out in hordes now that the wind has died down and your poor belly will end up welted with bites if you go back out right now."

"Um... helloooooo??? This is me, a professional athlete?!! I have speeds you can't even begin to imagine... even if they tried, those squitoes could never catch me!!"

"I'd rather we not take the chance, Day."

"But, Dad still gets to be outside. I can see him, he's right theerrre..."

"Dad's putting the lawn mower away and then he's coming straight inside, too."

"But, maybe I was going to heeeelp him put the mower away. And maybe I was going to just quickly check if the grass is the right height for me to run iiiiinnn. And maybe I was going to just quickly check if the grass is the way I like it for soft-rollability so I can plan my day for tomooorrrrowww."

"I'm sure the grass is just perfect and tomorrow you'll be able to test it out properly."

"But it's still light ooouuuutsiiide..."

"I know, an unfortunate part of where we live, but it's after ten o'clock and it's time to get ready for bed."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Empty Treat-Ball Discussion

"But, my treat-ball is empty..."

"It's not empty, there are still some treats in there."

"No, there aren't any, at all! I've been trying and nothing's happening. I rolled it this way and I rolled it that way and..... NOTHING! Then, I went and nosed it over there and then I whacked it back over here and still, NOTHINNGGG!!!"

"It's not quite empty, Day, I can still see a little bit of darkened treatness just waiting for you to work it on out of there and enjoy."

"But, seeeeee? Those words, those words right there... what you just said... they're not faaiiir! ..... Treat? Fun word! Ball? Another fun word!! Work?? NOT a fun word! ..... I'm RETIRED!!!"

"I know you're retired and it's because you're no longer in training that we need to be a little careful with the treat to play ratio happening these days; we need to keep your body at a healthy weight."

"But, I am healthyyyy... look at this naturally-cut athleticism that is meeeee! This treat-ball just enhances my beautiful physique... Can't you seeeeee thaaaat??"

"And do you know why it helps keep your beautiful physique, Day? Because it asks you to do a little exercise for your treats."

"But, I just really want it filled with more treeeaaaaats..."

"And it will be, just as soon as it's truly empty and then washed."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The AfterBath Discussion

"But, I didn't say I wanted to have a bath...
"I know you didn't say you wanted to have a bath... but, you needed to have a bath."
"But, IIIiiiii didn't think I needed one..."
"Well... you did."
"But, I had plans for my morning. I was going to play... and then I was going to sleep... and then I was thinking I maybe would go outside....."
"And you can still do ALL of those things, Day, that bath didn't even take a full ten minutes of your time."
"But now I'm all wet and you KNOW that I don't like to be wet... I don't even like to go outside in a drizzle nevermind having to face a full-on and SOAKING-WET bath!"
"But, don't you feel happy now, to be all nice and clean and ready for a FRESH day of fun?"
"No, I feel grumpy and hurt because I didn't saaayyyyy I waaanted to have a bath..."
"I know. But... you needed one. And now it's over with and you can have your fun."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Banana-oat Bread Discussion

"But, I really love banana-oat bread."
"I know you love banana-oat bread but you already had some."
"But, I'd like to have some mo-orrrre..."
"You've had enough for right now."
"But, my tummy says it's still huuuungry."
"You've had breakfast and banana-oat bread, I think you're probably full enough."
"But, you know I'm an athlete and I have a really high metabolism... prob'ly even just chewing it burned those calories right up."
"I watched you inhale it, there was no calorie-burn chewing involved."
"But... I really love banana-oat bread and I can seeeeeeee it and it's all nice and butteryyyyyyyyy....."
"And later you can have some more."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble.....

The Swimming Pool Discussion

"The gate is staying closed, Day"
"But, I want to go iiiinnnnn there."
"It's still too cold."
"But you told me it has a heater."
"Yes, but it isn't turned on yet."
"But, my life jacket is technically a 'jacket'... it'll keep me warm."
"Not warm enough."
"But, don't you know? Us athletes neeeeeed hydrotherapyyyy."
"The gate is staying closed."
"But, I can seeeeee the handle."
"And it's staying closed."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."