The Cold-DAY Discussion

"What's with the face-of-hurtness??"
"Are you really needing to ask???"
"You're upset because we're going for a walk."
"I'm upset because we're going for a walk... IN THE COOOOOOLLLD!!!"
"I'm sorry that it's cold outside, Day, but Winter has arrived and we just need to deal with it. We have a whole season of coldness yet before us but even so, we still need to get some fresh air and exercise."
"Mama... you KNOW that I don't like to be cold!"
"Hence the reason you're bundled..."
"And you KNOW that I don't like stepping on snow and ice!"
"Taken care of by your boots..."
"And you KNOW that it hurts my feelings when I have to leave my toasty bed! ... I just really want to be inside having a snack... and... I just really want to have a cuddle instead of a walk... and, and... and... I just really miss all of my toooyys....."
"Really, Day?? We've been outside for less than three minutes!"
"Three minutes too loonnng....."
"Orrrrrr... three minutes already wasted just standing here, arguing in the cold, instead of actually walking."
"Guess our walk-time has been compromised by the delay; we might just as well head back inside and try again later...  *sigh* ...and it was such a lovely day for a walk, too....."
"Nice try... start walking, Mister!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Rainbow Hat Discussion

"But I didn't want to try on my new hat..."
"I know, but we need to make sure it fits properly."
"This isn't FAIR... we're INSii-iiiiDDE!!!"
"We could go outside and try it if you'd like... a walk would actually do us both well."
"No. You know I don't like it outside when its wintertime!"
"Maybe you'll like it now that you have a cozy hat that fits properly and won't slip down."
"Really, Mama? You think going out in public... in this... is going to make winter better for me? Do you have any idea what my friends are gonna say when they see me?? I already get made fun of for my jammas and my snowsuit and my boots'n'shoes collection..... seriously... I can't let them see me with my face pokin' through a rainbow!!"
"Day, I think you're over-exaggerating things just a might. Don't you think that being warm and cozy while enjoying the fresh and crisp winter air is better than freezing and looking 'cool' for your friends?"
"No."
"Well... then I guess it's a bummer for you..... 'cause you're going to be wearing it."
"But..."
"No 'buts' about it, Day... it fits you perfectly, your ears will keep toasty and perhaps the greatest reason of all..... you look absolutely ADORABLE!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Pup-Cakes Discussion

"You made pup-cakes??!
"I sure did make cupcakes!"
"I'm a pup! Did you make them for me?? Did you make them for me 'cause I'm your pup and 'cause you just KNOW how much this pup of yours LOOOOVVES PUP-CAKES???"
"I just thought we all could use a treat to celebrate our adoption anniversary... one whole year of being a family; exciting times call for exciting treats!"
"A whole entire year we've been a family together?"
"Can you believe it?"
"It's been a really great year, too... hasn't it, Mama?"
"It's been an incredible year, Day! My heart is so full now,  I can't even remember what life was like before you came to us."
"It's prob'ly good you don't remember, 'cause without me it would have been boooorrrrrrinnggg! ... Happy Adoption Day, Mama!"
"Happy Adoption Day, my Sunshiny Day!"
"Can we have our pup-cakes now?"
"Yes... it is definitely cupcake time!"
"Guess Mamas aren't always so unfair... yum, yuummm....."

The Ornament-Switcheroo Discussion

"But, I didn't want it to go the-e-eerrre..."
"But, this is where you nodded to."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"Not..."
"Day... yes, it is."
"No. I nodded to that other branch... up there..... not that one....."
"You meant that one?"
"Uh-huuuhh..."
"But, that one already has an ornament hanging from it."
"I know. I thought you would get the hint... that one doesn't go there; this one does."
"But, I was actually really impressed at your choice for this one to go here, it just fits perfectly!"
"Yeah... perfectly where no one will ever even seeeee it....."
"What do you mean 'no one will ever even see it'?? It's sparkly and directly faces the front doors! It'll be the very first ornament eevvveeryone will see the very instant they come inside!"
"Who are you tryin'ta kid, Mama? You know, as well as I do, that other branch is the definite attention-getter... prob'ly the whole reason you even put that weird-o golden octopus thing on it in the first place... y'know, before I even had a chance to choose it for my ornament......."
"You know, Day, I really don't think anyone who comes to visit will even notice any of the ornaments, or even that there's a Christmas tree at all... not when they have your handsome face, huggy body and wagging tail waiting at the door to greet them."
"Sucking-up is helping you naught, Mama... let's get going, you have an ornament-switcheroo to do."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Cool-New-Kicks Discussion

"Mama, these cool new kicks you got me are..... AWESOMMMEE!!!"
"I'm so glad you like them!"
"Like them?? I LOVE them!!!"
"That's fantastic, Day... I'm glad I found a set more to your style-preference! Now, how 'bout we get up and get moving... give those sweet, non-slippy kicks a chance to do their thing...."
"Nah... I think I'm just gonna keep admiring them right here where I already am."
"But, I was thinking we could go out to the workshop, y'know, get a little work done."
"You go on ahead, Mama, I'll be right here dreamily sleepin' in Cool-Kicks-Heaven!"
"But, Day, I..."
"Shhhhhh... It's okay, Mama... I'm doing this for yoouuu! Just think, the less I walk around in these schnazaayyyy-tootsie-covers-of-awesomeness, the fewer times you'll end up having to wash them!"
"I'd rather you actually put them to use... I'll gladly wash them every day if necessary."
"Ummm... I want to keep them nice and new; I'd be upset if the colour were to fade."
"I'll wash them in cold water, and add some salt to help colour-set them so they won't fade."
"Salt? You'll add SALT?? ... I don't want my socks salted!!! Now, if you'd said 'pepper'... that might've brought a different outcome..... I mean, who wouldn't appreciate a little more 'pep'-in-their-step??!"
"You're not coming out to the workshop with me, are you?"
"No."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Moving-Carpet Discussion

"Whoooaaaa..... Make it stop, Mama!"
"What are you talking about? Make what stop?"
"This carpet! I'm tryin'ta teach myself how to sit and it keeps moving..... it's makin' me wobble and I'm gonna fall down!"
"The carpet isn't moving, Day."
"No, but, it IS... look at it!"
"Okay, yes, the carpet has been moved and is now quite askew... however, you are the one who sent it flying out of place when you decided to run zoomies around the living room just a few minutes ago."
"But, that doesn't explain why it's..... stiiillll moviiinnggggggg........"
"Because there's nothing to explain; it's not moving."
"Then why am I wobbling? Huh?? Explain that!!"
"Could be because your body just simply isn't used to sitting. And anyway... why have you, all of a sudden, decided to try to teach yourself to sit in the first place?"
"Well, everybody else does it! Why shouldn't I??"
"Sooooo, if everybody else started eating nothing but pumpkin-bites... would you join in on that fad, too?"
"No.... you know I don't like pumpkin-bites. Buu-uuut... maybe if everybody started eating only cinnamon-sugar doughnuts, then sure... I think I'd definitely be down for that one! I love cinnamon-sugar doughnuts!! I love them as much as I love sticky buns! And, even as much as I love blueberry scones!!  And, and... and even as much as I love birthday cake... mmmmmmm... birthday cake with that delicious butter iciiinnnnggggg!!! ..... Yeah... the cinnamon-sugar doughnuts deal? It actually sounds like a SUPER fun idea.... can we really do that?"
"No."
"Almond Croissants??"
"No."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Bottoms-Up Discussion

"I really don't think a picture is absolutely necessary right now... also... I don't appreciate the raucous laughter....."

"Wait 'til you see the picture, you might be a little more appreciative then!"

"I doubt it."

"Trust me... it's a good one!"

"I'd trust you MORE if you were helping me!"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I dunno... maybe MOVE ME?? Maybe... maybe shift me over or around or... sommmethinggg so I can be comfortable instead of leaving me stuck like this??!"
"But, you don't like to be moved when you're laying down..."
"In this case I would think it pretty obvious that I'd make an exception."
"Sooooo... this is not just a new and improved position of comfy you've discovered then?"
"Do Iiiiiii... LOOOOK LIKE I'M COMFYYYYY?????"
"Actually, you look a little annoyed."
"You think?"
"Look, Day, I'm really sorry you misjudged your lay-down... but, all you really need to do is stand up and try again; it'll be way easier and way more comfortable for you than having me try to rearrange your situation."
"But... I'm just really tired....."
"I know, but you'll sleep much better once you actually get yourself turned around."
"I want you to do it, Mama."
"Okay, I'll help you... but first, let me just run and get some garland and take a few more good pictures; I'll need choices for our Christmas cards!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Tap-Shoes Discussion

"What are you? NUTS??? ..... I am NOT going out there looking like this!"
"Well, of course you're not... we still have to put your sweater on."
"Mama, come on..."
"What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?? Oh, I dunno... maybe just the fact that you're tryin' to make me go outside... in public... in these girlie kind'a tap-shoes!!!"
"Day, those were the 'manliest' style they had, I could understand your distress if I had bought you the leopard print ones."
"These aren't much better....."
"Well, you know that we're still waiting on your new corn-relieving shoes to be delivered so, in the meantime, I've padded these ones to help ease the pain in your tootsies."
"Maybe you should let meeee deal with my own tootsie pain for our walks... I guarantee you it sure won't look like this!"
"We actually did try that, Day. Don't you remember? You took care of it by stopping and demanding that I carry you."
"Walking along beside you, riding along in your arms... half a dozen of one, six of the other..... I mean really, Mama, what does it matter as long as we're out and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air together??"
"It matters because carrying you is not as easy a task as you seem to believe... Eighty-two pounds of fully relaxed, well-muscled Greyhound takes a toll on this mamas poor old body!"
"Don't be ridiculous, it's eeaaasy to carry this physique of beauty around... I do it all the tiiiiiime!"
"And thanks to those cute little toe-tappers, you're about to do it again! Now... let's get your sweater on and get moving."
"No, but..."
"It wasn't a request, Day... we're going."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Sleep Discussion

"Do I look like I'm ready to get up and greet the day??"
"Really? This is how we're going to start?"
"Whaaaaaat? I'm just tryin' to get a little sleep here..."
"Beacause the last eleven hours just wasn't enough?"
"No, but that was eleven hours on my chaise lounge; now I'm on my pillow... totally different situation!"
"Day, this is getting a little ridiculous..."
"How do you figure?"
"I don't 'figure', I know! Sleep is good, I get that... but, only to a point..."
"Mama, it's not really myyy fault if our sleeping points don't exactly match up. This body is capable of greatness... professional..... greatness. But... it requires vast amounts of rest in order to maintain."
"I love how you managed to throw in your professional-ness once again."
"Well look at me... it's not like I could hide it even if I tried!"
"Okay... well then, why don't we get up and get you into your snowsuit for a good, long walk so we can keep that 'professional greatness' on-track."
"Haha... I see what you did there, Mama... funny."
"Is that a yes?"
"More of a 'the-sign-on-my-bed-will-lead-you-to-your-answer'... I'm going back to sleep now."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Un-Fun Idea Discussion

"Did you seriously just stick your tongue out at me??"
"No, not aaatttt you... more like, at your un-fun idea."
"It wasn't an 'idea', Day, it was a 'this is what we're doing'....."
"But I don't wanta go inside."
"You've had a huge run, a wild playtime, done some whacky dance moves and now it's time to go inside for your nap."
"Well, I already know it's nap-time... why do you think I laid down like this??!"
"And you can lay down like that again..... inside."
"I think I'll just stay here."
"I think you won't."
"I think I will."
"Day, I am not about to let you get sunburned and bug-bitten by letting you nap for hours in the grass; you have no insulative protection against the elements and insects that would gladly do you harm."
"Listen to yourself, Mama... Why would anyone do me any harm?? Everybody loves me... I'm adored everywhere I go!  Look at me, I'm so sweet and funny and we aalll know I'm beyond handsome... I'm just a really lovable kinda guy!"
"Still, we're not going to give them the opportunity to try. Let's go."
"No, thank you."
"It wasn't an invitation. Get moving, Mister!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Duo-Selfies Discussion

"Hey, Mama... we need to talk."

"Is something wrong."

"It's these selfies... they're getting out of control....."

"What? What do you mean??"

"We... well, we don't need one every day..... ONE... every now and then... okaayyy, I can deal with that... buuuuut, it's gone a little beyond now."

"Too much?"

"Seriously, too much. We need to just cooooool things off a lil' bit."

"But, I..."

"It's aaaalll right, Mama... I still love you... You still love me..... We still love each other. It's just... we gotta slow down on the selfies... people are starting to talk..."

"But, I just really love our pictures together..."

"Shhhhhhh..... don't talk, just trust me... it's aaallll for the best..."

"No, but..."

"Are we good here?"

"You mean, except for the fact that my heart is suddenly hurting??..."

"No heart-hurting necessary. We still got the love, Mama... still got the looooove!"

"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Dragon Discussion

"But, Dragon keeps looking at me..."

"Just ignore him."

"I can't ignore him... he's looking right at me! He won't stop and I don't like it."

"Maybe he just wants to play with you."

"Well, IIIiiiiii don't want to play with him! Don't you even remember, Mama?? Last time we 'played'..... he burned me."

"I'm sure he didn't burn you on purpose, Day. Dragon is young and learning, just like you are. Sometimes even you play a little too rough and hurt others without meaning to because you suddenly become too overwhelmed and out-of-control with excitement."

"Well, I might be young, too... but, I still know it's not nice to burn friends..... even on accident!"

"You know what else isn't nice?

"What?"

"Holding grudges."

"I'm not holding a grudge! I'm just still full of resentment!!"

"I think my point has just been made."

"What??? Nevermind... Can you just, y'know, put him somewhere else, Mama? Like, somewhere far awaayyy from me......"

"No, I'm not going to move Dragon, Day. I think you boys should work this one out on your own. Friendships aren't always easy but you may just find that the best ones are definitely worth the work of overcoming upsets."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Ice Cream Discussion

"But, that's the ice cream bucket."
"Sure is."
"But, you didn't tellll me that the ice cream bucket was coming out."
"Sure didn't."
"And you just went ahead and took it out of the freezer? And you opened it?? Without even letting me help???"
"Sure did."
"But, WHHYYY would you even do that?!! You KNOW how much I love ice cream!"
"Because when I do, I end up tripping and falling... a lot.
"And it's myyyy fault that yoouuu can't handle the short walk from the big freezer to the kitchen counter without landing flat-out on the floor???"
"It is, actually."
"How do you figure that??!"
"No figuring, Day, just a simple knowingness based upon past experience. Please don't look so hurt... I wasn't trying to hide ice cream time from you, I was only trying to save myself from having to failingly maneuver my way through the guantlet-like hazards of an overly-excited, gleefully-prancing hungrily-salivating and delightfully-crying Greyhound tightly circling my legs until I fall."
"Mama, listen to yourself... 'excited, gleefully, salivating, delightfully'... ALL good things!! So, even you have to see that your argument is totally and completely just... well..... UNREASONABLE!!!"
"Here's an idea... How 'bout we just enjooyyy some ice cream together instead of worrying about hoowww the icre cream actually made it from the freezer to the counter?"
"So, I'm getting ice cream."
"Of course you're getting ice cream."
"And next time I can help with getting the ice cream out of the freezer?"
"Probably not."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Towel Pile Discussion

"Really?"
"Yup."
"Did you happen to notice before you jumped up, even in the slightest, what was happening here?"
"Umm... you're gonna have to be a little more specific, Mama... I'm too tired to try and read minds today."
"Two things: folding towels and making the bed."
"Actually, if we're counting... it's three things and you 'conveniently' left out the third and most important of all."
"Which is?"
"ME... tryin' to get a lil' shut-eye here!!"
"Day, you have so many spots you could be comfortably napping in right now. I mean, seriously... you really haaaad to choose the clean pile of towels that I'm right in the middle of folding??"
"Whaaat??? I'm helpiiinng....."
"How is this helping?"
"I'm keeping them warm for you, you know, so they don't wrinkle."
"More like setting wrinkles in..."
"What are you saying? Was that a quip on my physique??"
"No quip... you have an amazingly beautiful physique, Day."
"I know!"
"But could you please move that beautiful physique off of the clean towels so I can finish!??"
"I cooouuuuld......."
*sigh* "Will you?"
"Let me just think... ummm, no."
"Let ME just rephrase that... OFF the towels, Mister!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Squirmy-Wormy Discussion

"I'm seriously NOT kidding you, Mama... this grass just MOVED!"
"It's pretty windy out here, Day, all of the grass is moving."
"No... I'm telling you, this wasn't 'wind movement'... something's in there and it's totally freakin' me out!"
"Where?"
"There, right there! Something moved. Something big... I felt it touch my paw!"
"Well, it can't be anything too awfully big or it wouldn't be able to hide in the grass."
"Well, it was sure big in overall grossness!"
"Okay, let's have a look; it's probably just a bug or a worm..."
"JUUUUUST a bug or a worm???!! A bug or a worm is so NOT cool... this is myyy grass and I want it to be soft and green and CLEAN for me to play in. I don't want to have to be worried about bugs and worms touchin' me... that's gross! You don't really think it would be a worm, do you, Mama?"
"No, probably not a worm, Day."
"But, now you're prob'ly just sayin' that to make me feel better... I just really don't like worms. Worms are all, like, gooey and sticky and squirmy and just really, really sickening. Did you find it yet? Is it a worm? Is it a bug?? Is it one of those tickles things you told me to watch out for???"
"Nope, not a worm or a bug, not even a tick... just a tiny piece of dandelion stem. See, nothing to be worried about, at all."
"Whew! That stem is sure lucky it wasn't a worm!"
"Yeah... you sure would've shown that evil worm a thing or two, huh?"
"Really, Mama? ..... Worm-mockin' me now??"
"And probably evermore."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Eye Drop Discussion

"But, I didn't want to have an eye drop time today..."
"I know... but you need your eye drops."
"But, IIIiiiii don't think I need them... my eyes aren't dry or red or itchy; not even one little bit!"
"We go through this every time, Day, and you know these drops are for your Diabetes Insipidus and not, at all, for any symptoms involving your actual eyes."
"EXACTLY!!! So, WHYYY put the drops in my EYYYES??!!! You KNOW that I don't even like having drops, at all... well..... unless they're going to be gumdrops. I like gumdrops! Can we just have gumdrops instead today? And then maybe we could go outside for a play and then we could come back in and check the bag again, just to see if we maybe missed any and if there still might be just one more hiding that I could have and be just so happy... so GUUUUUMDROP HAP-PEHHH!!!!!"
"Day, you do realize that eye drop time would already be long behind us if we had just gotten it over with right away."
"Eye drop time??! But, I thought we just decided we were having gumdrop time instead..."
"No, you decided... I know that we still need to get these drops in."
"I like gumdrops...."
"I know you like gumdrops but, enough with the gumdrop distractions... it's time. Now, look waayyyy up at the ceiling, just a quick drip-drop and..."
"No, but wait! ... Um, if you're really not up for the gumdrop plan, I'd be willing to give a few lemondrops a try....."
"Done!"
"What??!"
"All done. You are good to go, Dude. I snuck the medicine in fast while you were all dreamy-eyed over your gumdrop/lemondrop plans."
"You SSSNNUCK it in???!!"
"Yep."
"Without my permission???"
"Sorry... had to be done."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Slumberjack Discussion

"But, I said I wanted to wear the greeeeen jammas, not the red jammas..."
"I know... but the green ones are in the washing machine and you need some extra warmth right now; these ones were clean and ready to take on the task.
"But, the blue ones are clean, too. Why did you just give me red when maybe I might have wanted the blue if the green ones are dirty... like you saayyy (eye roll)."
"Did you really just roll your eyes at me??"
"Um..... nnnnn-nooooo........"
"Good, 'cause I didn't think you would do something like that... you're just too sweet for those kind of antics."
"But, I would have been even sweeter in my green jammas... just so you know."
"Day, it's the same fleecy softness, the same comfy fit, the same cozy warmth. Can you just deal with the red, at least until the green ones are dry? Please??"
"Mama, I know they're soft and comfy and cozy... that much, I actually like. But in these red ones, my friends keep askin' me where I keep my axe. They make fun of me and they call me Sluuumberrrring Jack....."
"Hmmm. I can understand how that could be tough but for you, but... being called a slumberjack might actually be a compliment to take pride in."
"How do you figure that?"
"Well, your Grampa Bob was a professional lumberjack and he'd be honoured to see you in red plaid. And the slumbering part... you spent four and a half years working harder than any of your friends can even imagine and you have earned and deserve your slumbery days of retirement."
"Fiiinnnnnne... I'll just wear these red ones, then......"
"Awesome... now how 'bout a big ol' smile to go with them??"
"No."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Covers-Stealing Discussion

"Day, did you really need to take ALL of the duvet?

"But, you didn't really need that part of the duvet, right Mama?"

"Actually, I did... it was the only part that was covering me. You know I'm still trying to get over this flu and that I get chilled really quickly and still need to rest."

"But, you have your sundress on and that covers you enough that you really shouldn't need this cover, too."

"But, I might. I might get super cold and not be able to find enough energy to go and get another blanket."

"You won't get cold... I'll keep you warm with my heart."

"Some duvet along with your heart would be nice..."

"And... I'm sure it would be... but..... I just really need it aaalllll. See, I like to have the WHOLE duvet fluffed up under me 'cause then it feels like I'm floating on a cool and crisp yet warm and soft cloud of floating squooshiness and it just makes me feel so happy and so perfect inside..."

"But, don't you remember when we talked about how sharing is caring and about how everything is even better when shared with someone else?"

"I remember... and I hope you do feel better to be sharing the bed with me, Mama."

"But, I'd like to be sharing the duvet."

"And you are... you're shaaarriiinng by letting me have my turn with it."

"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Flying-Disc Discussion

"What??? Nnnnnn-ooooooooo-O..... I didn't take this from Derbyyyy..."
"Really? Because from what I saw, Derby was quite interestedly discovering the fun of that very flying-disc that you seem to now be carrying."
"No, but he was finished with it."
"But, I saw you rush in and swipe it."
"But, um, I didn't think he wanted it anymore."
"It was in his mouth, Day."
"But, I think he was just holding it until I got there."
"I think you hurt his feelings."
"Why should he feel hurt? It's my toy...."
"I know it's your toy. I also know that we talked about the kindness of sharing toys with friends."
"I know yoouuu talked about it but I also remember IIiiiiii didn't really  agreeeee with it."
"Agree or not, it's a good way to show friendship. I think you should take it back over to Derby and let him have another turn."
"I will... in a little while. I just need to show Derby how it's done first!"
"He'll figure it out, start walkin', Mister..."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

"Fine! But... don't expect me to smile....."

The Where Are My People Discussion

"But, you said my people are coming today..."

"And they are, but not until closer to dinnertime."

"But, don't they know I'm waiting for them noowww?"

"I imagine they might think you must be napping right now, since that's what you generally do at this time of day."

"Who could nap with all this WAITING??!!!"

"Seriously, Day, it's going to be a few hours yet. Gramma is at church, Norma is at church and Auntie Nan had some errands to run but don't you worry, they will all be here for dinner."

"And Derby, too, right?"

"Of course Derby, too, and you'll both have LOTS of fun!"

"Yup, 'cause we'll play and then we'll run and then we'll wrestle and then we'll eat treats, lots and lots of treats, and then  he'll pee where I pee and then I'll pee where he pees and then we'll have a drink and then we'll play some more... and....."

"Sounds like you've got it all planned out."

"But why can't they just be coming noowww? Did you even tell them I don't like to be waiting??"

"Trust me, we ALL know you don't like to be waiting, Day."

"But I really just want to hug all my people and my Derby..."

"And you will, once they arrive... a little closer to dinnertime."

"My people are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Raincoat Discussion

"But, I didn't saaayyyy I wanted to try on my raincoat..."
"I know, but you needed to try on your raincoat."
"But, it's not even raining! Look behind me, do you see rain??"
"No, I see sunshine but..."
"No, there is no 'but'! You see sunshine!! I'm in a raincoat, a RAINcoat!!!"
"I know it doesn't seem fair right now, Day, but I just finished making this raincoat for you. I need to make sure that it fits you perfectly and needs no more alterations before we do find ourselves in rain and then you start complaining about how you hate being wet."
"But, it's taking my tiiiiime... and, and, and I wanta be playing and I wanta be exploring and I wanta be zoooooming and..... I wanta be eating apple pie!"
"We all want to be eating apple pie, Day, I'm just asking for a quick minute to try on your new raincoat."
"But, this is MORE than just trying on 'cause now you're taking PICTURES! And you knoooowww that I don't like having my picture taken when I'm upset; I don't like it just as much as I don't like wearing a raincoat when it's not even raaaiiiiiininnggg..."
"I know, and I totally understand... but I just need one more picture, okay? Smile biiigggg!!"
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Mean Old Tumor Discussion

"WhoooooooooOOO's feeling under the weather???"
"Not funny, Owl."
"Sorry, Day... I was just tryin' to make you smile....."
"It's okay. I just don't feel like smiling today."
"Why did you get a hurt?"
"Mama said I had a dangerous tumor and that I needed a surgery."
"That sounds awful."
"It was awful. It wasn't even a little bit fun and now it just really hurts and I'm really tired and I just really can't get comfy to have a good sleep like I need."
"Was it scary?"
"Yeah, it was scary. I had to be there all by myself and then I had to have an IV needle, and I don't even like needles... And then I felt all woozy and I don't even remember what happened after that except that I woke up and everything hurt and I just wanted to be at home."
"We really wanted you to be at home too, Day, everybody missed you... it was so quiet and boring without you to play with."
"Thanks, Owl... I missed you, too."
"And, all this pain and sadness is because of that mean old tumor that had to go??"
"Yup... all because of that mean old tumor."
"Tumors are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Hosting-Gig Discussion

"But, Derby didn't saaayyyy he wanted to sleep on the bed..."
"Well, maybe he didn't say he wanted the bed, but what I asked was whether or not you had offered to him."
"But, it's really only a one-pup bed and you KNOW that I love my naps up here!"
"Still not what I asked, Day. Derby is your guest and guests always deserve to be first-invited to make themselves comfortable."
"Oh, I think Derby's comfortable enough. Come on, have you seeeeeen the padding already on him?? I mean, seriously, take a look at ME... I'M the one who actually neeeeeeds this bed softness!"
"Still, he might appreciate a squooshy place to nap. Did you offer him another spot? Like maybe one of your daybeds, or your chaise?"
"Well... but, those are mine, too."
"So, that's a 'no' then?"
"Um, well... we didn't actually really talk about it."
"Well, I would like for you to talk about it now."
"Why would we need to do that? Clearly we're already settled... it'a aaall goooood, Mama!!"
"Actually, it's not all good. Come on down and politely offer your guest a comfortable spot to nap in."
"But..."
"No 'buts', Day. Get moving."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Dusting Discussion

"Really? You had to take the feather duster while I answered the telephone??"
"Umm... I was dustinnggg?"
"Yeaahhh... I can tell; you got a lot done. I'm going to need that back now, please."
"No, but wait! ... There's nothing else to play wiiith."
"Day, you have a ton of toys to play with. Seriously, look in front of you, and these ones here don't even amount to one tenth of the toys you have... Annddd since these ones were all put away this morning you obviously had fun in bringing them out to play with....."
"But, I'm just so over them now..."
"Good thing you still have lots more to choose from then!"
"And I choose this one!!"
"Well, that one's not a toy and to be honest, it's a little gross."
"And I'm okay with that."
"Day, I would really like to finish cleaning... paw it over please. "
"Relaaax... we're taking turns here,  just like you taught me; it was your turn, now it's my turn and when I'm done, it can be your turn again."
"Do you even get why it's called a 'duster'? It's because we use it to dust things, it collects dust which ulimately means that since I have been using it this morning it is now filled with DUST...."
"And it feels 'duuuuuust' right for a cuddle-nap....."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Entourage Discussion

"But, Derby and Cali keep whispering about me..."
"I'm sure they're not whispering about you."
"But, they aaarre whispering about me... look at them; they're not being very nice to me and they're not letting me in on their funny secrets!"
"I doubt they're actually trying to be mean, Day. Maybe they're just trying to figure out the easiest way to get to know you."
"But, they do already know me... I told them everything they need to know about me! I told them about how I'm a professional athlete. And I told them about how popular I was back at the track and how all the other athletes there tried to be just like me... And I even told them just how LUCKY they are to get to be my new entourage!"
"Now, see that right there, might just be part of the problem. Friends don't like to be referred to as an 'entourage'..."
"No, but I meeaaant it as a compliment!"
"Well, an actual compliment would mean saying something nice about each of them rather than just about your own self."
"But, there wasn't really enough time for any of that..."
"Building friendships means making the time, Day."
"But, they still shouldn't be rude and whisper about meeee."
"And, I'm sure that they'll stop... just as soon as you show a little more interest in being actual friends with them."
"But you're not even helping me or making them stop."
"But, I am helping you. I'm explaining how you can help yourself make changes that will make your new friends feel like you appreciate them."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

A joke a DAY.....

"Hey, Derby... did you hear about the Greyhound who ran for two whole hours but only moved four feet?"
"Really?? I thought all of you Greyhounds were fast... "
"Yeah... but he only had four feet!"
"Hahahahaaaah... You're funny, Day!"
"I know! It's a gift..."

The Nail Grinding Discussion

"But, I didn't say I was ready to have my nails done..."

"I know. But, you need to have your nails done."

"But, I just HAD them done!"

"That was a whole week ago, Day."

"But, I don't think it really neeeeeds to be every SINGLE week that we do this."

"Trust me, Day, weekly is the way to go with this one."

"Well... I'm not going to be helpful."

"Don't worry, I'll do all the work... you just go back to your nap-time."

"See?? You just said it... it's my NAP-time... not my NAIL-time."

"I know, but, it's easiest and quickest when you're relaxing like this."

"But, maybe I don't want to be relaxing. And maybe I wanted to do other things today instead of nails. Like, maybe I wanted to play frisbeeee. And maybe I wanted to go for a rii-iiide. And maybe I wanted to be inventorying the treat staaaasshhh..."

"I think you've confused the word inventorying with the word devouring, Day."

"Whichever... I just mean that I have WAY more important things to be doing!"

"And you'll still have enough time to do those things and more... but even better, you'll get to do them with well-managed, healthy nails that won't get snagged or torn while you're playing!"

"But... I really just want to be licking the window."

"First of all... that's gross. But, I'm sure you will be... just as soon as we're done."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The BedMaking Discussion

"But, I just maaade the bed!"
"Whaaaat??? I thought you were making the bed FOR me..."
"But I wasn't, actually... I was making it so it would look nice for the day and then it would feel nice and unwrinkled when IIiiiii climb into it at bedtime."
"Whoa... guess we TOTALLY had a miscommunication on this one! See, IIiiiii figured that since you know how I love my naps up here you were just making it all nice for me so I could have a comfy day..."
"But I wasn't..."
"Well, you could just REEE-make it later on after I'm finished... you know I prefer the chaise for my nighttime sleeps anyhow."
"But, I'd really love to finish getting the bed ready right now, Day. I mean, seriously, you have the chaise, four different doggie daybeds, couches and love-seats, galore, to choose from for naps..."
"And maybe I'll give all of those spots a try... later."
"Maybe you should try them now, before you run out of time."
"Oh, don't you worry about me! I've got time. These summer days are long, Mama..... these summer days are long!"
"Not that long... I think you should run and try out those other spots!"
"And I will... later on."
"Greyhounds are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Dear Deer Friend Discussion

"Hey, Day! Can you come outside to play???"

"Hang on... I just have to ask my mom!!"

"My mom said I'm not allowed..."

"What? But, why not??"

"She said I have to get ready for bed and that it's starting to get dark outside, so I'm not allowed."

"Bummer, Dude..."

"I know... it's not faaiiir, she never lets me have any fun."

"Tell her my mom's out here, too, maybe if she knows we have supervision she'll say yes."
"Nah, she'll still say no 'cause the streetlights already just turned on. It's no use."
"Well, now I sure wish we could've got here sooner but we found some really great tree buds on our way and got distracted with the time."
"That's okay... Maybe if you can come earlier tomorrow we'll be able to play. Remember that other day, when we were running all around and then we both fell in the same spot and then we just rolled and laughed and our moms thought we were crying because we got hurt but really we were just laughing so hard we couldn't talk..."
"Yeah... that was really funny!"
"I know... it was SUPER funny!"
"My mom says we have to go now... sorry you couldn't come out to play, Day."
"Me too. Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The MessMaking Discussion

"But, IIIiiiiii didn't think I was making a MESS."

"Really?? Look around this room. The bedcovers have been wrestled and pulled every which way, the toy basket has been dumped across the floor and I tripped and fell over the blanket you dragged halfway through the doorway."

"But, didn't you look where you were walking?"

"Not the point, Day."

"But, I just was playyiiingg... and, and, and sometimes, I just can't stop myself.... 'cause it's just SO much FUN!!!"

"In any case, it's time to clean up and then it's time for a nap!"
"What?!! I don't need a nap! I'm just getting my 'play' on... there is still lots of fun to be had!! I'm gonna run circles around ALL the furniture, I'm gonna chat up that good-lookin' Greyhound who always gets himself stuck behind the stereo cabinet glass and then I'm gonna dance, dance, DANCE!!! ... 'Cause you know I just really love to dance....."
"Day, the only dance you're going to be doing right now is called The Nap-Time Jig... let's go."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The JammaTime Discussion

"But, I didn't saayyy I wanted to have jamma-time yet..."

"I know, but it's late and already past your bedtime."

"But, it's not even dark yet! I can still play outside for a little while mo-orrre..."

"We'll play outside again tomorrow. The mosquitoes are out in hordes now that the wind has died down and your poor belly will end up welted with bites if you go back out right now."

"Um... helloooooo??? This is me, a professional athlete?!! I have speeds you can't even begin to imagine... even if they tried, those squitoes could never catch me!!"

"I'd rather we not take the chance, Day."

"But, Dad still gets to be outside. I can see him, he's right theerrre..."

"Dad's putting the lawn mower away and then he's coming straight inside, too."

"But, maybe I was going to heeeelp him put the mower away. And maybe I was going to just quickly check if the grass is the right height for me to run iiiiinnn. And maybe I was going to just quickly check if the grass is the way I like it for soft-rollability so I can plan my day for tomooorrrrowww."

"I'm sure the grass is just perfect and tomorrow you'll be able to test it out properly."

"But it's still light ooouuuutsiiide..."

"I know, an unfortunate part of where we live, but it's after ten o'clock and it's time to get ready for bed."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Empty Treat-Ball Discussion

"But, my treat-ball is empty..."

"It's not empty, there are still some treats in there."

"No, there aren't any, at all! I've been trying and nothing's happening. I rolled it this way and I rolled it that way and..... NOTHING! Then, I went and nosed it over there and then I whacked it back over here and still, NOTHINNGGG!!!"

"It's not quite empty, Day, I can still see a little bit of darkened treatness just waiting for you to work it on out of there and enjoy."

"But, seeeeee? Those words, those words right there... what you just said... they're not faaiiir! ..... Treat? Fun word! Ball? Another fun word!! Work?? NOT a fun word! ..... I'm RETIRED!!!"

"I know you're retired and it's because you're no longer in training that we need to be a little careful with the treat to play ratio happening these days; we need to keep your body at a healthy weight."

"But, I am healthyyyy... look at this naturally-cut athleticism that is meeeee! This treat-ball just enhances my beautiful physique... Can't you seeeeee thaaaat??"

"And do you know why it helps keep your beautiful physique, Day? Because it asks you to do a little exercise for your treats."

"But, I just really want it filled with more treeeaaaaats..."

"And it will be, just as soon as it's truly empty and then washed."

"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The AfterBath Discussion

"But, I didn't say I wanted to have a bath...
"I know you didn't say you wanted to have a bath... but, you needed to have a bath."
"But, IIIiiiii didn't think I needed one..."
"Well... you did."
"But, I had plans for my morning. I was going to play... and then I was going to sleep... and then I was thinking I maybe would go outside....."
"And you can still do ALL of those things, Day, that bath didn't even take a full ten minutes of your time."
"But now I'm all wet and you KNOW that I don't like to be wet... I don't even like to go outside in a drizzle nevermind having to face a full-on and SOAKING-WET bath!"
"But, don't you feel happy now, to be all nice and clean and ready for a FRESH day of fun?"
"No, I feel grumpy and hurt because I didn't saaayyyyy I waaanted to have a bath..."
"I know. But... you needed one. And now it's over with and you can have your fun."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."

The Banana-oat Bread Discussion

"But, I really love banana-oat bread."
"I know you love banana-oat bread but you already had some."
"But, I'd like to have some mo-orrrre..."
"You've had enough for right now."
"But, my tummy says it's still huuuungry."
"You've had breakfast and banana-oat bread, I think you're probably full enough."
"But, you know I'm an athlete and I have a really high metabolism... prob'ly even just chewing it burned those calories right up."
"I watched you inhale it, there was no calorie-burn chewing involved."
"But... I really love banana-oat bread and I can seeeeeeee it and it's all nice and butteryyyyyyyyy....."
"And later you can have some more."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble.....

The Swimming Pool Discussion

"The gate is staying closed, Day"
"But, I want to go iiiinnnnn there."
"It's still too cold."
"But you told me it has a heater."
"Yes, but it isn't turned on yet."
"But, my life jacket is technically a 'jacket'... it'll keep me warm."
"Not warm enough."
"But, don't you know? Us athletes neeeeeed hydrotherapyyyy."
"The gate is staying closed."
"But, I can seeeeee the handle."
"And it's staying closed."
"Mamas are so unfair... grumble, grumble....."